


The Absence of Longing

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, F/M, Kissing, M/M, No Mary Hate, Pining, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, The complex relationships of two flatmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2014-02-04
Packaged: 2018-01-11 04:42:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1168827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"One night, when John was inebriated at a Scotland Yard function after Sherlock had rejected another tie pin with the Union Jack on it and subsequently started a feud, the doctor commented off-handedly 'Someday, Sherlock, I will leave you for someone better,' then promptly puked into the bushes."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Absence of Longing

Sherlock can count on one hand the things that John was right about. They were rare enough that Sherlock sometimes didn't know when they had passed, instead moving like escalators going in two opposite directions.  
One night, when John was inebriated at a Scotland Yard function after Sherlock had rejected another tie pin with the Union Jack on it and subsequently started a feud, the doctor commented off-handedly "Someday, Sherlock, I will leave you for someone better," then promptly puked into the bushes.  
=  
John woke up hungover the next morning. Everything seemed to glare in his eyes.  
He cussed, and lifted his head from the soft pillows of someone else's bed. The sheets were neatly tucked around him, but not hospital-cornered. This comforted John for an unidentifiable reason.  
John then realized that there was unfamiliar violin music coming from the living room. He rolled over and went back to sleep, a small smile on his face.  
=  
This isn't the first time they've kissed. This is merely the first time they're acknowledging that they're kissing.  
Sherlock is abruptly reminded that kissing is thought to have been started as a mating behavior in bonobos, and that humans are just highly evolved apes. Sherlock has never thought of himself as human in this manner--frequently, he forgets that inside of him there is one heart, and two lungs, and two kidneys like everyone else is born with.  
He blissfully forgets that John is made of these parts, and Sherlock forgets there might be a day that he and John are two corpses that Molly Hooper or her daughter or her granddaughter will dissect because Hoopers never fully escape from the morgue.  
He begins to laugh into John's mouth, and he can feel John's lips smile against his own.  
=  
Sherlock falls in slow motion.  
John attempts to absorb the shock.  
=  
His nose is bleeding, and he is irrationally happy because John was _right. ___  
Sherlock finally understands what John said at the party, that someday John would find someone newer and shinier to keep himself busy. It takes more than an eyeliner moustache and an accent to win back John Watson, and Sherlock Holmes is determined to do whatever it takes.  
That said, Sherlock is rather fond of Mary, and thinks that she makes an excellent backup.  
=  
Sherlock has never incorporated John into his mind palace, at least on the surface. He’s kept deep inside, eternally sleeping in Sherlock’s bed with the corners tucked incorrectly. Sherlock mentally locks him away, and tucks the key into his bathrobe pocket.  
Sherlock goes there when he plays violin at John and Mary’s wedding.  
Well, some married men have affairs.  
=  
John sometimes pretends that he never proposed, and that there’s sunlight trickling into Sherlock’s dark bedroom. He pretends that he still lives at 221B Baker Street, he has a ‘complex relationship’ with Sherlock Holmes, Mary is still far off into the future, and he has a vicious hangover. He pretends that it’s normal to kiss your best friend on the cheek.  
He conducts an affair with Sherlock Holmes without actually conducting an affair with Sherlock Holmes.  
=  
Sherlock sometimes wishes that he could force John Watson to the forefront of his mind, that there weren’t other tracks leading to nowhere constantly tracing themselves over and over, like lines on a palm.  
Sherlock sometimes wishes that he could fall in love with Molly Hooper. It would be much easier than this.  
Sherlock sometimes wishes that Mary hadn’t shot him, but then feels the bruise. It feels like satisfaction. He forgives Mary.  
=  
They say goodbye in front of a plane. John wishes that he could grow a pair of wings and fly away.  
He wonders, _Will you miss me?_ He receives his answer: _Did you miss me?_  
John Watson runs to his best friend.


End file.
